It is easily clearly that being reactive or acting in anger often can have a psychological explanation that lift us back to childhood. However, even though this is so, we are also seeking to take control of being reactive for getting better with the environment and with ourselves.
Depending on how we interpret what happens, this has a very important role to how we use our energy, our time and our attention. However, although we are very clear about our motives, often we lose sight of what the intentions of the rest are.
In this sense, it is necessary to ask yourself: “When a friend scolds you about your love situation, is he looking to irritate you or to help you?” Or “When someone takes too long to perform an action, is he looking for you to be violent?”
How to stop being reactive all the time
Many times we get angry at someone because of what he wanted to say us with a text message, an email or without answering us a message. However, keep in mind that when we assume what the motives of the people to respond in certain ways are, we are actually leaving our own perception of the world strain on that interpretation. Thus misinterpretations cause us to become highly reactive.
Our proposal is that before getting defensive or offended on an issue, you try to change your own attitude to the different situations.
This article will teach different tricks to try to break free of those annoyances which, ultimately, the only one that is affecting is you.
1. Think of others
Before become reactive to an attitude, you have to ask yourself if you really know the person and his reasons for the action that has offended you. If you do not really know this person, the truth is that it is very difficult to know what his true intentions are.
2. Consider your own beliefs
Often what happens is that we project our beliefs in something that it is not the reality, which leads us to an extreme reactivity. Therefore, to avoid the constant anger is recommended that you ask yourself: “What kind of person am I; Why I consider it so?” Being clear about what you think about yourself will help you avoid projections and being reactive.
3. Have compassion
Abandon that position where you think you are the center of the world and leave aside the paranoia. Not everyone wants to affect you because accidents happen. So before you get angry with someone, think of the reasons why that person may have done so. Maybe if someone is late he may actually be due to a traffic jam, do not doubt of his motives.
4. Listen to the other
If you feel offended, it is better to consult the person calmly why he acted that way and sought thereby. While some people will not answer truthfully, others do so, which will allow you to understand that it was a misunderstanding. Knowing the reasons of the other will also help you avoid being reactive with that person every time something happens.
Consider that also your intentions can be misinterpreted. For that reason you should anticipate explaining that you only want to understand what is happening. What is sought with this is the emergence of a fluid without malicious intent, where ideas flow freely without offending the other talk.
The best thing is to avoid being reactive by changing, act with love and empathy, seeking to understand why the other acts and reacts in such a way. Your change may also inspire others and help that things are better.
After all, anger only applies to you. Look to stop being reactive with these tips.